Why I Blog

I have been away from my blog for over a month... Again. I've thought about different things to blog about (e.g. Thanksgiving, life events, Bible in 90 Days, books, etc.). However, every time I thought about blogging... It was just that. A thought. I was frustrated with myself for not blogging more often and it was beginning to feel like a chore. Now, that the semester is over and things are slowing down, I have been thinking a lot about why I blog. Here are five reasons:

1. Blogging is therapeutic. A colleague and I recently presented about this at a counseling conference. Expressive writing helps people to feel emotionally and mentally better. Similar to journaling it can help us release emotion that we typically keep locked inside. 
2. Blogging deepens the process of self-analysis (Lent, 2009). Blogging helps us to move past the quick thoughts that we have regularly and forces us to slow down and focus on what we are discussing. It pushes us to analyze our thoughts, actions, behaviors, and relationships.
3. Blogging encourages reflection. Discussing a topic on my blog pushes me to reflect on that topic and look for significance. For instance, blogging about my missed posts has helped me to reflect on the benefits of blogging, along with some of my obstacles. Reflecting on experiences leads to a deeper understanding and can produce change.
4. Blogging helps to build community. When you blog, you attract readers who are interested in similar topics. This allows you to build a community or a network. I'm always interested in creating community and growing my network.
5. Blogging allows me to be self-absorbed for a moment. I often present at conferences on Web 2.0. Inevitably, someone in the audience says that "young people's" use of social media is a bit narcissistic. While I can't completely disagree, I will admit that it can be fun to spend time thinking about myself and assuming that someone out there actually cares to read my thoughts. Those who know me personally, know that  I am royalty in my own mind. Blogging helps to validate my royal lineage for a second. 

Just the process of typing my reasons for blogging is motivating me to spend  more time doing it. I can always make time for one more project at work. So, I am working on making time for the things that I know are beneficial. **Uh-Oh** I just had another idea for a blog post. This means you should hear from me soon.

I would love to read your comments: Do you blog? Why or Why Not? Will you start blogging?

November is Academic Writing Month

I am in my second year as an assistant professor and I am learning that the academy awaits for no one. It is easy to get bogged down with teaching, grading, mentoring, committee work, service, and so much more. When I find myself feeling overwhelmed and rushing through the halls of academia, the first thing to get pushed aside is my writing. I love research and I love writing, but sometimes those two things are the first to go. I am assuming that this happens to many professors, which is why there is a need for Academic Writing Month. This is a movement, using #acwrimo on Twitter, designed at getting individuals to encourage and support each other into a month of high productivity. This is exactly what I need at a time where I feel as if I am being buried in grading and committee work. Today, I am completing the first two rules of this month by deciding on a goal and publicly declaring my goals. In the month of November, I will...

1. Spend a minimum of 30 minutes writing every day except Saturday.
2. I will complete and submit three manuscripts. 
3. I will select a grant and begin developing the proposal.
4. I will blog at least 2x a week.

It's time to get busy. Please leave words of encouragement or support. You can also consider joining me. 

“If you wait for inspiration to write; you’re not a writer, you’re a waiter.” – Dan Poynter

Follow me on Twitter (@DrMShavers) or Subscribe to my blog to see my progress. Thanks in advance for your support.

Reading the Bible in 90 Days!

Last year in July, I decided to read the Bible in 90 days with momstoolbox.com. I had been trying to establish a more consistent routine of prayer and studying and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to spend time with God and challenge myself. My life since completely my Ph.D. has been just as busy, but not as predictable. Starting this challenge shortly after I started life as a professor was a great way to provide my life with some structure. It was nice to read stories that I had heard all of my life and to read things that I hadn't heard or read before. But what struck me was the underlying theme of love through out the Bible. The Bible is very entertaining, but I was constantly reminded about how much God loves us. When I read the stories in the Bible about people who constantly turned their backs on God, I am overwhelmed by God's ability to stick by us no matter what.

So often we can become consumed with religiosity and trying to be a perfect "Christian." We may measure this by going to church, participation in church committees, keeping the Sabbath, not breaking the 10 commandments, and so on. But so many times we often forget the importance of love. When the man asked Jesus, which of the commandments is the greatest he replied, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 22:37-38). So often we forget about loving others. We gossip, we judge, we complain, and sometimes we are just down right rude. Reading through the Bible reminds me of God's love for me and my responsibility to love others as I love myself.

I am hoping that reading through the Bible in 90 days this time will help me to increase my intimacy with Christ. I am also praying that I take on more of Jesus's character. I believe that immersing myself in the Bible will help me in my struggle to become more Christ-like. My decision to serve as a mentor was made because the mentor I had during the first challenge was essential in helping to keep me motivated and on track. It's not to late to join us. Message me or check out momstoolbox.com for more information.

Baby Shower: Born to be Wild

My god-daughter, Jada is 3 months old. Needless to say, I am a bit delayed on blogging about the baby shower, but "It's better late than never." We decided on a "Born to Be Wild" theme with hot pink, orange, green, and zebra print. I was a little nervous about the wild theme, but Sequena Monet, the mom-to-be (at the time) and one of my best friends, has always encouraged me to be "less boring." After planning this shower, I am convinced that I should be an event planner, LOL. Well, I hope you enjoy....

 Monet and I

 One of the Tables

 Cake and Cupcakes from A Piece of Cake.

 

 Jada Pria Monet Graham

Aren't her little booties the cutest? I can't wait until it gets warm enough for her to wear them.

 Courtesy of Monet's mom. A diaper stroller and Monet's childhood doll.

 Decorations

 Yum

 Monet and her mom. Twins!

 Monet and her elementary school teacher, Mrs. Long.

 Designed with Love.

The happy parents and Monet's aunt.

Fun times. I don't know why I don't have pictures of Ralonda, Ashleigh, or my mom, but I definitely want to thank them for all of their help.

Love you ladies.

A Visual of My Life

I have always said that my home, is a direct reflection of my mental status. Well, I have become a strict, disciplined, homemaker. Lol. Hilarious, but true. My home is usually always organized, but every once-in-a-while, things get CRAY! This has changed since married life. I have had to be more organized and disciplined since we moved into our new home and it has helped to keep my home organized most of the time.

I have FINALLY mastered this so, I have to wait a while before I can add a baby to this madness. (For those who want to know when we are having children. *wink*)


Anyways... This mess has now infiltrated it's way into my technology home. This is a screenshot of my desktop.

This only shows half of the picture. You can't see the emails that I've flagged, the 7 to-do lists I have created and all of the things that I have saved in delicious to read later. I say all of this to say...

I need an assistant. I can pay in therapy (this is a joke for my counselor friends and the counseling board). I can also pay in filtered water, organizational tips, and hugs. This is the best time to get in because when I  make it... So will you.

Ok. Now I must get back to work...

My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife

Although I have completed a doctoral degree, I often find myself wondering if I should have gotten a Ph.D. in marriage. Seriously. I love being married and I love my husband even more than that, but I find myself learning more and more about how to be a good Christian wife everyday.

I really enjoy reading and I have made it a point to vary the types of books I read (regular fiction, academic, research related, Christian fiction, marriage, and so on). I just finished reading a book titled, "My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife" and I would recommend it to any married woman or woman considering marriage. When I read the description of the Proverbs 31 wife, I felt annoyed (I mean, who can really do all of that?) and unworthy (All of that seems overwhelming so, I am not cut out to be a Christian wife). However, the author, Sara Horn, uses this book to share her own obstacles, frustrations, and successes of her one year experiment to become a Proverbs 31 wife. Her story is reflective, inspirational, motivational, and funny. If nothing else, I found myself feeling a little better  about my "wife abilities" when I read about some of her mishaps during the journey. She even ends the book with a 10-day experiment for you to try and several easy recipes to make for your family.

As women, I know we often struggle with the Work/Life balance. I work from home a lot of the times and I could easily work all day and all night. I enjoy my career and I value the work that I do, but I know that I don't do a great job of balancing work with the other things that are important. This book is a fun read, but also helped me to reflect on different aspects of my life. If you are interested click here to read a sample chapter. I would love to know what you think about the Proverbs 31 wife or the book that can be found here.

Thanks for reading and please share your thoughts.

New Year, New Changes, New Goals!

We have rang in the New Year, made our resolutions, and said goodbye to the holiday season. Unfortunately, some of us have already given up on your New Year's resolutions. While I try to spend more time focusing on my daily resolutions, I also realize the benefits of using the new year as a way to re-evaluate, re-focus, and re-set. There is something about the beginning of a new year that causes us all to look back at the past year and visualize our hopes for the upcoming year.

I have two main resolutions for this year...

1. Develop a 30 before 30 list by June of this year and start working on this.
2. Maintain more balance in my life.

Plans for keeping our resolutions typically start off strong, but often"fizzle out" long before our goals are reached. Once we get wrapped up in our busy lives and schedules, the hope of keeping our resolutions begins to decrease and most of us will give up long before we begin to think about our resolutions for 2013. So... How can we make sure that we do something different this year? While I don't have all the answers, here are some suggestions that can help you stay on track this year.

Create goals that are SMART

1. Specific- Be very specific about what you want to accomplish. So instead of maintaing a more balanced life. I will evaluate my life and write down the specific thing I need to do to make sure my life is balanced.
2. Measurable- I always ask how will I know (using my five senses that I reached my goal). Using my balance example... I will know when I have reached my goal when I am spending two hours a day everyday during the week dedicated to my family and when I am only spending one day of the weekend doing work.
3. Attainable- While I am all about setting high goals for yourself, make sure you set goals that have a realistic plan to get you where you want to go. For example, I gave myself for six months to develop a 30 before 30 list. I think this is very realistic and it gives me time to develop a list that is meaningful and that I will actually stick to.
4. Relevant- If it is not relevant, you won't make it past week 1.
5. Time Bound- How long do you want to work on this goal?

Happy New Year!